This is a story about the drama of war from the perspective of families living a hybrid life, divided by it. It tells of how Ukrainian families struggle daily with the harsh realities of war and how, thanks to technology, one can have a semblance of home at the front while simultaneously experiencing the war at home. The project also prompts reflection on the role of women and the concept of contemporary masculinity in post-Soviet countries.
"Dad in the Phone."
We want to address the challenges of raising children during war and forced emigration, which has affected millions of families in Ukraine.
My family emigrated from Belarus in February 2022, three days after the war in Ukraine began, and my children joined a class that is 99% Ukrainian children. At the parent-teacher meeting, I was the only father present. Given my experience in Belarus, this seemed normal, as child-rearing in our society is highly feminized.
However, I soon realized how mistaken I was.
Our daughter befriended a girl who, during our walks, asked her mother why Agata's dad (that's me) is here, but her own dad is not in Warsaw. As we deepened our relationships with our children's friends, we understood the evident absence of fathers in these families. Fathers are not physically here, but they are constantly in touch with each other. In a situation of constant danger, the value of every minute spent together is immense.
Sofia plays with her dad by taking the phone to the playground, Artem has lunch with his dad, Polina likes when her dad is with her during Minecraft, Anna does her homework with her dad.
In post-Soviet Russia, the role of men for many generations has been reduced to that of cannon fodder. Time and again, fathers, brothers, husbands go to war, and they are told that their mission is to heroically die for the Motherland. Against this backdrop, I see the superiority and immense value of the Ukrainian family, where the modern man is a father, whose main goal is the well-being of the family and its future. When assuming the presidency, Zelensky said, "I very much want that in your offices there should be neither my photographs nor my portraits. Because the president is neither an icon nor an idol (...) Put there photographs of your children! And look them in the eyes before making any decision."